


no amount of skill will protect you from the sheer luck of a chronic dumbass

by yaboiiiigrass



Category: Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Davey and Sarah are twins, F/F, Fake Dating, M/M, Slow Burn-ish, also fite me on that, and race too, he is a fucking menace with anxiety, im really happy with this so far, katherine is a lil shit, kinda like a 5+1 but it’s like a 14+1, race is italian and you may fite me on that sir, so is les, spot jack and smalls are medda a kiddos, the jacobs all be southerners, this davey is not a shy anxious mess, with all his weird snake facts and john mulaney references
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-05-22
Packaged: 2019-11-01 14:42:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 11,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17869193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yaboiiiigrass/pseuds/yaboiiiigrass
Summary: $3k each to “date” for a year?easy peasylemon squeeze- these lemons into mythis is N O T  E A S Y





	1. make it 3, pay for my chipotle for the next month and i am so in

**Author's Note:**

> hey gang sorry for the short first chapter, i’ll have a longer one out soon i pinky promise
> 
> this is just a bit of background info

“boys, i have a proposition for you. i am willing to pay each of you... $2,000 if you can convince and maintain the image that you two are dating for say... a year?” katherine sat across from the pair at a deserted starbucks. this was the kind of place you came when you needed to make a shady deal. 

 

it’s where les paid race $100 to get his older siblings together with jack and katherine so they could stop being pitiful. to this day they still don’t know race and les were the reason they were dating, he’ll probably tell them at their wedding. 

 

“woah- $2,000? to fake date? foR A Y E A R?? make it 3, pay for my chipotle for the next month and i am so in”

 

“i’m sure that can be arranged” katherine purred, a fist rested under her chin. 

 

spot was left sputtering and confused, his brain still catching up with what katherine had just said. this was not good. 

 

“hey race, can i talk to you for a second?” he quickly grabbed race by the shirt and dragged him into the bathroom. 

 

“are you fucking HIGH?? we can’t date, it’ll ruin our friendship forever! have you even considered the consequences of when this ends?!” he was beginning to spiral, hands waving wildly. 

 

“$3,000 dollars spotty, just for a year of fake dating. you can’t just pass up on a deal like this!!”

 

“well are we just supposed to break up and move on with our lives?? WE LIVE T O G E T H E R!!! HOW WOULD THAT WORK??” 

 

“we’ll say it was a mutual agreement, i’ll crash at jacks for like... 3 days? bada bing bada boom i’ll be back and it’ll be like nothing ever happened. now just imagine, $3,000 dollars”

 

“no toni- i just can’t do this. i don’t wanna be apart of another one of your silly charades, this is a serious commitment you’re just throwing us into” spot was visibly doing everything in his power to not shake, it wasn’t working at all. 

 

but then again, when were any of his attempts to restrain his emotions successfull?

 

“spotty, look at me. it’ll be fine, one and done. all we have to do is establish a ‘secret relationship’ and then run with it for a while” race reached for one of spots hands, which he immediately smacked away by reflex. “i have a plan and everything, okay?”

 

“katherine told us this 5 minutes ago, how the fuck do you already have a plan?”

 

“it’s the tips to a slow and comfortable integration of our relationship, tip one; be more intimate. we work on all those weird couples facts, the nitty gritty shit that nobody else knows. we need to know everything about any topic under the sun. everyone will be very suspicious when you just happen to know exactly what cologne i use, what pant size i am, and where i’ll be today at 5:30” 

 

“you’ll be at dance rehearsal then, you’re a size small ya twig, and you use marine axe body spray cuz you’re actually 12” spot grumbled subconsciously, not realizing be had said that out loud. 

 

“see, good start! tip two; be more showy. pick me up from dance, i’ll come to your work functions and shit. we can drive together to places more, go get food together, etc.”

 

“we already drive everywhere together”

 

“you know what i mean. so tip three; be more touchy. that’s kinda easy, hold hands, cuddle, lean on eachother, shit we already do. that eventually may have to lead to kissing but that’s later”

 

“jesus christ race. how long have you thought about this?” 

 

“it’s not my fault i got bored one time and decided to figure out the best way to  
realistically fake date someone”

 

“you’re nuts”

 

“thanks captain obvious, so cmon! please do this, for me??” he flashed spot his puppy eyes, those of which have been extremely effective in past negotiations. 

 

“fine, lets go tell kathy the good news”

 

the two walked back to the table calmly, spot folding his hands on the table and simply stated,

 

“we’re in”


	2. quick a/n!!

heya gang i’m in need of some very weird chapter titles and such so if y’all could just send those ya way that would be supa dupa helpful!!

xoxo grass


	3. you can’t do that *clap clap clap clap clap*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shit starts now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1- thanks to @im_dying_inside for the glorious chapter title
> 
> 2- sorry i deleted the last chapter, i didn’t like where the plot was going so i swapped it up
> 
> 3- sorry this took so long i’ve been busy with theatre and sick and just ugh stresssss

“spot i swear to god if your ass is not packed and in in the next 3 seconds i will cut it off and feed it to les’ dog!!” race whined, tapping his invisible watch impatiently. “i refuse to be late to crutchie and finch’s one year anniversary cuza you”

 

“i’m packed jesus racer, i just need to find my nice shoes. and don’t you need to change too?”

 

“fuck off, just go put something nicer on” he gestured to his sweatpants and lack of shirt. spot gave a small groan before trudging to his closet. he grabbed his iconic red sleeveless shirt and a pair of sweatpants, throwing them on haphazardly. 

 

“ready?” race reappeared in his doorway wearing crisp white chinos and a blue striped dress shirt that was only half done up for reasons unknown. “oh hell no spotty you are not wearing a tank and joggers to the niagara winery”

 

“oh my god, then what racer? It’s too long of a flight to slut it up, and besides i’m now a taken man so i don’t need to show off” spot preened wittily, gesturing to races rather eccentric outfit. 

 

“piss off pajama man, and it’s only an hour flight so i wanna look pretty when i get off”

 

“oh wow, pajama man that’s fuckin new. how old are you man, 3?”

 

“on a scale of 1 to 2” 

 

“fuck you racer, now what the fuck do ya suggest i wear?” spot stepped aside sarcastically, inviting race to dig through his closet for something halfway decent to wear. 

 

“hey, where’s the red button down that sar bear got you for father’s day?”

 

“ohhh no fuckin way am i wearing that thing, it’s like a goddamn straightjacket”

 

“too bad, it makes you look hot as fuck so guess what- you’re wearing it” race snarked, throwing a pair of jeans in his face.

 

xxxxx

 

“stop fidgeting with it, you’ll wrinkle it”

 

“it’s not my fault it’s so damn itchy” spot grimaced, crossing his arms in defeat. this was going to be a long ass flight for him. 

 

“okay so one last time through to be sure?” race held up the list of random and personal questions they should be able to answer for the other. it’s good “couple practice”. 

 

“hit me”

 

“where?”

 

“just ask a damn question, asshole”

 

race scoffed angrily, taking a sip of his airplane champagne and picking up a card. “my dislikes and pet peeves are?”

 

“slow talkers, loud chewers, pukey green walls, watery coffee, and the delanceys” 

 

“ding ding ding, you know me so well. okay now do me” spot plucked a card from the pile and held it up. 

 

“5 favorite movies”

 

“oh! the breakfast club, silence of the lambs, the expendables, shaun of the dead, and uh- fuck is it pulp fiction??”

 

“heathers”

 

“awh cmon damnit! i can redeem myself”

 

“how so?”

 

“you have a 6th favorite you’d rather die than share”

 

“and that is??”

 

“paranorman”

 

“and you’ve got me” race grinned widely, finishing off the last of his champagne and whipping out another card. 

 

“our first kiss?”

 

“easy, drunken make out sesh at jojo’s st. patty’s day party”

 

“bingo, I’m tired”

 

“good for you racey, feel free to nod off whenev-“ spot was to slow as race had already removed his seatbelt and was settling his head in spots lap. he groaned and writhed in an attempt to get comfortable but eventually settled with his legs awkwardly curled up to his chest and one arm on spots chest, the other on his own. 

 

“nanight spotty”

 

“night rat child” races hand thumped on his shoulder before resting at the space between his neck and shoulder. spot sighed, pulling his headphones from his pocket and flipping through spotify. he settles on a random playlist, setting a hand on races chest, the other curled in his hair. 

 

for most people this would seem completely out of bounds, but spot had 2 exceptions. 1) he and race were supposed to be “dating”, so he might as well get used to it. and 2) it’s not like race doesn’t constantly ask spot to play with his hair so it’s kind of a force of habit at this point. 

 

xxxxxx

 

“did you seriously need climb on the baggage claim?” spot said, dragging a hand down his face. 

 

“we woulda lost our bags if i didn’t, so you’re welcome” race grinned, pulling his suitcase onto the escalator towards the doors when he heard a loud call. 

 

“RACETRACK HIGGINS GET YOUR FOREIGN ASS OVER HERE!!” called a rather excitable jack kelly, david trailing behind with a look of exasperation. 

 

“JACKIE!!” he bolted off, jumping onto jack with a shriek and knocking him full over. spot shook his head and made his way over as well, greeting the pair with a wave and a grin. 

 

jack and race had always been quite the pair, since the first grade and through thick and thin those boys were glued at the hip. even as they made their new respective pairs, they were born partners in crime. if it weren’t for jack, spot and race would’ve never met. and if it weren’t for race, jack and davey would’ve never started dating. 

 

“heya dave” race squeaked out, scrambling to his feet and dusting off his pants. 

 

“hi race, ya know quite rude of you to neglect me a hug” davey teased, a southern accent peaking through his words. he always made smart remarks about how race always ran to jack first. race grinned, wrapping his arms tight around david’s shoulders with a shallow laugh. “and hello to you too spot. how was the flight”

 

“absolutely great, he slept the whole damn time so i got some well deserved peace and quiet” 

 

“lucky you, this one kept bugging me about god knows what” jack let out a scandalized gasp, turning to dave with fake tears in his eyes. 

 

“how could you, babe” he blubbered, pouting. 

 

“get over it”

 

“oooo that’s cold dave” race added, slipping his arms around jacks neck before climbing onto his back. “ONWARD HOE! TO THE TAXIS!!” 

 

and with that the two were off, leaving david and spot to carry all the bags with a huff. what else would you expect though?

 

xxxxx

 

the hotel was gorgeous, a view of the falls and(much to spot’s dismay) a full casino. race would probably end up spending plenty of time there but now they were supposed to be meeting up with their friends for dinner. but race was busy reironing his shirt and spot was flipping aimlessly through the shitty hotel channels, settling with food network. 

 

“okie dokie, so how are we gonna break the news” race asked. 

 

“dunno, why don’t we just tell em at dinner?”

 

“i mean i guess but like that’s lame”

 

“well what do you wanna do? pop a balloon and have confetti spell out ‘we’re dating’ in pretty gold calligraphy?”

 

“actually, yes”

 

“piss off, we’re just gonna tell them plain and simple. now put you’re shirt on, the car’ll be here in 5 and everyone’s probably in the lobby by now”

 

race snorted, carefully tucking and buttoning his shirt, leaving the top two open once again. he picked up the suit jacket he had lain out, spot grabbed his wallet and was about to head out the door when-

 

“i need you to give me a hickey”

 

spot immediately broke into a coughing fit, leaving him with his hands on his knees and gasping for air. “i’m sorry fucking W H A T??”

 

“i need you to give me a hickey”

 

“i heard you the first time, but why???”

 

“it’ll add to the look”

 

“oh my god no i am NOT GIVING YOU A HICKEY”

 

“YES YOU ARE”

 

“NO IM NOT”

 

the back and forth screaming went on for far to long before race finally whipped out the puppy eyes.

 

it didn’t take long for spot to agree after that. 

 

“oh my fucking god, where do i put it?”

 

“i dunno, collarbone? or maybe neck”

 

“collarbone it is” race gave a curt nod before moving his shirt away for spot’s face, which was set in a nervous scowl. ‘3k spot, do it for 3k’ he thought before leaning in and attaching his lips to races collarbone and sucking down hard for a few seconds before pulling back. race walked over to the mirror, admiring the dark welt on his collar. he gave spot a winning grin, ruffling his hair. 

 

“hey watch it!” spot said, trying to fix it before realizing what he was doing. it was all for looks, as were most things they’d be doing publicly from now on. this would be fun(said nobody). 

 

and after that mess, they were out the door. 

 

xxxxx

 

“heya racer!!” crutchie turned to him, arms open. crutchie ditched the crutch almost two years ago today, he wore a brace and only limped a bit now. 

 

“crunch, my man! happy anniversary!” race walked into the embrace, squeezing tightly. 

 

“hey what’s on your neck?” he asked, sparking the attention of those around them. 

 

“iS tHaT A hICkEyY?” romeo yelled in his ear, hitting him hard on the back of the neck. 

 

“i dunno maybe?” he smirked, making direct eye contact with spot who sniggered. 

 

“whatcha giggling at, conlon?” jack glared at him before looking to races neck, then to spot’s hair, then back again to race. apparently he made the connection(what a shocker, this guy took 3 years to realize sara and davey were twins) and let out the most undignified screech known to man. it sounded like a pterodactyl on helium being hit in the throat repeatedly with a baseball bat. “hOLy FUCKING SHIT NO”

 

“jackie you good?” smalls asked, actually looking concerned. 

 

“NO NO NO NOOOO! YOU CANT BE SERIOUS NO FUCKIN WAY CONLON” by now everyone was looking at jacks episode, even some hotel patrons were looking worried. 

 

“YOU CANT DO THAT!” *clap clap clap clap clap* jack screamed, clapping as if it were a sports cheer. it wasn’t until albert put it together too that things began to make sense to the group. 

 

“uh guys... look at spot’s hair, and races hickey. i smell a connection” albert said.

 

“babe, i think you just smell romeos excessive cologne” elmer patted his shoulder lovingly. 

 

“no, al’s right! something is going on!!” jack shouted just as the cars arrived to take them to the restaurant. 

 

“welp let’s get going! spot?” race power-walked to the car giggling like a maniac. their plan was working.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> love you guys new chapter will be out in the next week or more!! <3


	4. yes, i understand the guacamole will be an extra $3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> thnx to @The_Bi_who_lived for being a doll and giving me this awesome chapter title, keep em comming guys!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> t.w.- i don’t understand catholicism so sorry if this hurts ur feelings

the restaurant was gorgeous, the air smelled like races nona’s kitchen, warm and garlicy and familiar, but now it was show time. spot would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little but nervous, in about a minute race and his lives would be basically bound together for the next year. to be honest, this was basically marriage. they might as well get two rings, a dress, and run to the nearest catholic church(per races wishes ofc).

 

“you ready?” race whispered. spot nodded, shaking his hands out before standing up from the table.

 

“hey uh- guys. race and i have an announcement” he said, false confidence dripping from his voice.

 

the entire group snapped to him, eager and confused. “sorry to snatch the spotlight crutch, but we’ve got big news” race grabbed spot’s hand, standing too. “we’re dating!”

 

“iM sORrY WhAT??” romeo jumped up, hitting smalls and specs in the process.

 

jack got up too, going red with frustration. “I CALLED IT!! I KNEW SOMETHING WAS GOING ON!!” he screamed, wincing when david smacked him hard on the thigh, signaling him to calm down. albert sat there, his face completely expressionless. race looked between him and spot, his skin crawling with nervous anticipation. “hey al, you okay?”

 

albert snapped back to reality, shaking out of his daze. “how long has it been, since you got together?”

 

“uh- just after jojo’s st. patrick’s day party” albert nodded, looking down at his lap and taking a long gulp of water. elmer rubbed his back, flashing spot and race an apologetic look. race squeezed at spot’s hand, the pair sitting down. spot rubbed his knuckles gently with his thumb, hoping to soothe races terror. even he didn’t expect albert to react this badly. “i just can’t believe you didn’t tell us sooner because i fuCKIN CALLED IT!!! FORK IT OVER JOJO CUZ I. WAS. RIGHT”

 

race immediately snapped up, seeing jojo pass albert a wad of cash with a groan and a smile. he looked absolutely shell shocked, but then laughed hard, hitting his head on spot’s shoulder. spot was still completely lost, looking to elmer for clarification. he shrugged, appearing just as confused as he was.

 

“ya know you really had me goin there for a minute, the ol’ fake out trick” race choked out through barks of laughter, eyes tearing up. spot smiled softly, squeezing races knee under the table.

 

xxxxx

 

after a few minutes of mindless chatter, a waitress politely walked up to take their order. now, going out to dinner with their group was absolute hell for any staff. they were rowdy and obnoxious and usually lacked manners or public decency, it had even led to them getting kicked out of multiple applebee’s. everyone began ordering, but all went wrong when the server got to romeo, who was last.

 

“can i please get a margarita pizza with guacamole?”

 

“guacamole? sir this is an italian restaurant”

 

“yes i realize the guacamole will be an extra $3, that’ll be it for me” race sat there with a blank expression, but the whole table watched on in horror waiting for him to burst. this boy was italian born and raised, and he would uphold his culture until the day he died. “did you just order... guacamole? with a margarita pizza? do you realize what you’re doing?”

 

race threatened, hands shaking. spot put a calming hand on his shoulder, gesturing for him to breathe. however, romeo has gone too far for race to stop now. “yeah, tastes good. ya wanna try a bit later?”

 

“rome, i’d suggest you stop while you’re ahead” jojo warned, giving him a nervous look.

 

race laughed shallowly before rising to his feet, spot tried to stop him but it was too late. he looked as if he was about to bite romeo’s head off, gripping the tablecloth tightly. “listen up asshole, how dare you uh- how dare you.... what’s the word?? oh cazzo, come ti permetti !! ti rendi conto di quello che hai appena fatto? che insulto è per un'intera cultura? SEI UN ROMOSTRO MOSTRO !! UNA MOSTRA DI DISTRUZIONE DELLA CULTURA !!!”

 

it was a common occurrence that race would switch back to his native tongue when he was angry or upset (or horny). he told spot it helps him express his emotions better, plus there’s a lot less chance of him forgetting a word in italian than in english. also shouting in italian sounds a lot cooler.

 

romeo sat in silence, not sure whether to acknowledge the fact that nobody understood a word of the rapid fire italian he just screamed at him with. race shook his head, sitting down with an angry huff, leaning against spot’s arm. this was going to be a long night.

 

xxxxx

 

by around 6, the group had wrapped up eating and were off to the winery. race had somewhat gotten over the guac incident but was still extremely bitter about it. he sat close to spot, holding his arm and scowling at a very uncomfortable romeo. at least 4 times he’s been caught cussing him out in italian, spot wouldn’t be surprised if he muttered some kind of catholic cursing ritual (spot knew nothing about catholicism, he was christian).

 

“spot, are we there yet?”

 

“not yet, 5 mins okay” race nodded, placing his chin on spots shoulder. his lips were right by his neck, leaning in to press light kisses to his pulse point. spot tried not to squirm as race moves upwards towards his ear. then, completely ruining the ‘tender moment’, he blew hard into spots ear. he whacked races knee, before grabbing races inner thigh and squeezing. race glared and scooted closer to him. apparently two could play at this game.

 

“hey uh- get a room? i know it’s nice that you can show some pda, but spare our eyes” katherine said, shooting the pair a sneaky smile and feigning annoyance. there were some groans of agreement that pulled the pair apart.

 

maybe this would be easier than they thought.

 

xxxxx

 

“i guess today was a success!” race shouted from the bed. spot hummed in agreement, toothbrush in mouth. “i mean you saw them in the car, they totally believe it!!”

 

spot quickly spit out his toothpaste in the sink before jumping onto the bed. “yep! now we’ve only got 11 months and 28 days until we’re 3k richer”

 

“oh god, that long?”

 

“yahuh, but it’s not that hard. i mean all we have to do is be a little more lovey-dovey, and we’ll be all good” race smiled a bit, turning off the lamp at his bedside.

 

“i’m tired”

 

“that’s nice, go to sleep then”

 

“turn off your lamp”

 

“but i wanna read” spot held up his book, hitting race with it.

 

“oh my god is that him gaffigans book?”

 

“maybe” spot mumbled sheepishly, holding the book close to his chest.

 

“you are such a dad”

 

“now now, there’s no need to kink shame yourself” race scoffed loudly before turning his back to spot and closing his eyes. spot huffed, flipping his book open and reading.

 

not even ten minutes later, race was wrapped around spots legs and torso, his head somehow got under his arm and onto spots chest. blonde locks were blocking the pages so spot took it as a good time to get some shut eye as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you guys are liking the story so far, i promise to get a more reliable posting schedule!!
> 
>  
> 
> love you guys sm and hope you have a great day


	5. i will not hesitate to kick your dick into your throat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dinner and a movie
> 
> feat. small assholes, a ‘child’, and mom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you og’s remember a reference to an old plot line i tried out 
> 
> this is kinda sloppy but i like it
> 
> takes place bout a month from last chapter, as will most of them

“i hate hosting dinner” spot groaned from the living room, dusting various surfaces angrily. the whole gang got together once a month at someone’s house for a “family dinner”. sometimes even medda, the jacobs, races dad, or someone else’s parents would come over, making it a real family dinner. 

 

“you’re just saying that because you hate cleaning” race scoffed, chopping herbs for the caprese. he loved family dinner, because that meant he was allowed to make ridiculously large servings of his favorite classic italian dishes. this usually included caprese, homemade pastas, meatballs, focaccia, pesto, and his world famous pizzelle cookies. their kitchen may look like something out of a slasher movie but race loved the process nevertheless. 

 

“that’s only half true, i also hate having to deal with my idiot brother and our friends trashing our place”

 

“well medda, ester, and mayer are coming over this time so i’m quite sure there will be minimal trashing”

 

“aha! but what about when they leave??” spot set down the duster to wave his hands dramatically. race watched from the breakfast bar in half-hearted annoyance. 

 

“then we make them clean or kick them out before they can make a mess, okay? now be a dear and help me chop veggies”

 

spot waddled over, grabbing a knife from races fancy wall magnet thingy and beginning to chop the veggies set out on the cutting board while race went to answer a knock at the door. 

 

“antonio, how are you sweetheart?” there stood ms. medda, smalls trailing behind with a tray of god knows what. 

 

“ms. medda, looking stunning as always”

 

“oh sweetie, how many time do i have to tell you to just call me mom” she pulled him in for a tight hug, nearly squeezing the life out of him. medda was known for her ungodly tight hugs. he carefully wormed his way out of her iron grip to greet smalls. 

 

“heya kiddo, how’s it hanging?”

 

“fuck off racer i’m only a bit younger thank you, that’s not an excuse to call me kid” smalls was newly 19, 4 years from races 22. he could call her whatever the hell he wanted. 

 

spot stepped out of the kitchen to greet his adoptive mother, hugging her just as tight as she did. “hi momma”

 

“hiya honey” she cooed, patting spot’s head. medda had nicknames for all of her kids. spot was honey/hun, jack was pumpkin, smalls was peanut, and sweetheart/sweetie was reserved for race; even though he wasn’t one of medda’s actual kids, she treated him as such more than the other boys (minus davey, he got called darling a lot). 

 

“ms. medda, smallzie? would you girls be okay giving me a hand with dinner?” smalls grumbled a bit while medda gave a wide smile, cracking her knuckles in preparation. 

 

“let’s do this”

 

xxxxx

 

“race oh my god this is so good please just give me your recipe” sara whined over a bowl of pasta carbonara. the food was godly as always, even spot was drooling over it, and he ate this kinda stuff every week. 

 

“sorry sar bear, it’s a higgins family secret” 

 

“you bastard, if i have to marry you to get those recipes i will”

 

“um saz, he has a boyfriend?” spot remarked, taking another bite of caprese. 

 

“ahh yes right, i almost forgot how utterly gay you are for eachother” crutchie mocked, earning a chuckle from davey. 

 

“oh be nice charlie, you and finch were just as bad when you first started dating francis” medda teased lightly. 

 

“sorry ms. medda” he mumbled, before taking another heaping bite of the pasta. 

 

“it’s delicious baby” spot said, squeezing his hand on top of the table. 

 

“thanks spottie, and ya got cream sauce just... there!” race licked his thumb, wiping the sauce from the corner of his lip. spot squirmed away, covering his cheek. 

 

“oh my god you’re my boyfriend, not my mother” he grumbled, earning an accusatory glare from medda. “sorry ma”

 

“yeh shpot, be noish” jack spat food everywhere, landing some on romeo who shrieked and rubbed his balsamic-covered hand through jacks hair. 

 

“oH THATS IT!! THIS MEANS WAR ASSHOLE” jack shouted, slappingup, slapping him across the face with a tomato slice. 

 

“dID yOu JuST bITcH sLAp mE wItH A tOmaTo??” romeo across the face with a slice of tomato. 

 

“dID yOu jUSt bITcH SLaP mE wItH A ToMAtO???”

 

“MAYBE SO! NOW YO-” spot loudly smacked his hand against the table, making some nearby silverware fly up. 

 

“jackson francis sullivan kelly, if you dare even think about making a mess of our house, i will not hesitate to kick your dick into your throat. you too romeo, capishe?”

 

“capishe” the pair mumbled, sitting back down in their seats. the room was blanketed in an awkward silence. 

 

“i made pizzelle cookies?”

 

xxxxx

 

after ms. medda left, the gang decided upon watching movies on the secret ‘theatre race’ and albert had set up on the roof. basically just a sheet propped up with ladders and a phone projector. it was halfway through captain america: the first avenger that katherine shot race a look that reminded him exactly what they were supposed to be doing. he moved over on the air mattress he and spot were sharing, leaning against him affectionately. spot stiffed up, ears suddenly getting hot. 

 

spot scooted over a bit, making room for race to try and curl into his side. his head was on spots shoulder, while his shoulder dug into spots side. it was uncomfortable to say the least. 

 

“race dude you’re stabbing me with your fuckin knife shoulders. what the fuck are you doing???” spot whisper shouted at race.

 

“did you fucking forget what we were supposed to be doing?? cuddle me bitch” he breathed into spots ear. he had remembered but was rather enjoying his personal space for the short time he had it. 

 

“oh my god, can we at least not lay like this? you’re so boney”

 

“well what the fuck am i supposed to do?”

 

“uh... i’ll lay down, you lay on top of my chest or somethin, i dunno”

 

“okie dokie” spot tried to lay back as quietly as possible, his head had sank completely through the few pillows propping him up while race laid his head on spots chest. part of races legs were hanging off the end but otherwise it was a little bit more comfy for the both of them.

 

race and spot were intimate people, they shared just about everything in their lives. but this was a new kind of intimate. they’d cuddled before for warmth, or used eachother as pillows, but he’d never be able to get used to the feeling of races breath on his chest, how long his eyelashes were up close. 

 

all these confusing, contrasting revelations swarming his mind all at once. this was bordering the edge of more than just “dudes bein dudes while pretending i be fucking” and spot wasn’t sure he was ready for that. 

 

but he didn’t make it weird, there was too much money at stake here to risk it over something like a little discomfort. 

 

xxxxx

 

it was about 15 minutes into iron man 2, in which all the blood had drained from races feet and spots arm was definitely asleep. they were just as uncomfortable as they were the first time around. it was only when jack paused the movie that they were able to shift apart to stretch out their sore limbs. 

 

“alright bitches, snack and potty break!” jack announced, bouncing up from his spot in david’s lap and running towards the stairs.

 

race smiled and rolled off of spot onto the concrete, flicking jojo in the head before following jack to the apartment. he quickly ran to the fridge, digging out 3 pears, 2 beers, and a small hunk of cheese in a plastic baggie. he then moved to the pantry and grabbed a kit kat and a family sized bag of salt and vinegar chips. it was quite the load to carry back but he could manage. the stairs were a struggle, so smalls ended up carrying the beer and chips for him. 

 

“thanks smallzie” 

 

“ yeah jesus christ racer, who ya gonna feed? the french revolution?” she chuckled, receiving a small chuckle. race wandered back to his spot, dropping a kit kat and a beer on jojos chest. 

 

“oh thanks racer, you’re the best”

 

“i know right” he did a mock hair flip and jumped onto the mattress with a huff. spot had gone to the somewhere so he had the mattress all to himself for a bit. 

 

“hey asshole, you’re in my spot” race snorted. spot glared quizzically at him before squishing his feet over to sit down. 

 

“it’s funny cuz that’s your name! spot wants his spot back!!”

 

“what are you, 12?”

 

“on a scale of 1 to 10” race gave him his best shiteating grin before watching spot crawl onto his chest. his cool-guy facade quickly dropped when spot began to lean in, pressing them cheek to cheek. race was blushing and sputtering as he felt spots hot breath agains his ear. 

“ego much?” 

 

xxx

 

“alby- alby look at the couch” romeo whisper-screamed in his ear, tugging at his hoodie sleeve repeatedly. albert took one look at the couch and nearly lost his shit.

 

there laid spot conlon, resident hardass and king of brooklyn, pressed against races chest and whispering in his ear. 

 

“that’s gross dude, worse than kath and sara” he pointed to the girls, who were sharing kisses and a lawn chair. 

 

“i know man, i know. i still can’t believe they’re dating?”

 

“i just cant believe it took us so long to notice, i mean the signs have been there for years right??”

 

“let’s just watch the movie” romeo smiled softly before returning to the movie. however albert still couldn’t wrap his mind around the fact that his best friend since the 2nd grade hadn’t told him he’d gotten together with the shortest angst lord this side of the hudson. or was it the fact that

 

xxxxx

 

5 movies in, nobody was able to stay awake. davey and jack had already retreated upstairs to do god-knows-what, kath and sara had done the same. romeo was getting drooled on by albert, finch was holding a sleeping crutchie and rocking him gently. pretty much everyone was either being completely gross, coupley, or both. 

 

and race and spot were absolutely no exception. 

 

spot was fast asleep, holding a handful of races shirt. ‘well shit that’s gonna wrinkle’ he thought with an internal grimace but yet couldn’t stay mad at the sleeping boy. spot looked younger, calmer when he slept. it wiped away the days of scowling but you could see some premature age lines between his brows because of it. race could count each and every freckle on his face at this rate, but then again counting is hard when you’re tired as shit. 

 

as an experiment, he decided to slowly slip a hand into spots hair to see if it would wake him up. usually this was the other way around but spot slept like the fuckin rock he was and didn’t stir in the slightest, which wasn’t much of a surprise. when spot was tired, he was basically a really small angry zombie. and if that meant he couldn’t feel races hand on his back or carding through his hair, then so be it. 

 

aha but you see, spot did notice. he woke up the second he felt the hand on his back, but chose to do nothing about it. it felt nice to receive affection without having to ask for it, just unconditional comfort between two best friends that would soon be receiving 3k. totally not weird right, it’s normal to fall in l-

 

oh shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BIG NEWS!!!
> 
> 1\. i’ve finally got a posting schedule, fridays every week or so, sorry if i mess it up 
> 
> 2\. i’m holding a lil contest, send me small prompts for a situation for me to write the gang in thru tumblr or a comment and i’ll pick my 3 faves to write into the story
> 
> keep sending chapter titles and have a great day, week, and st. patty’s day❤️
> 
> tumblr- @yaboigrass
> 
> instagram- @grassisinashow


	6. basically porn starring my best friend and my brother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> karaoke, and ihop, and slow dancing in a parking lot at night while it rains
> 
>  
> 
> oh my?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope this don’t suck, sorry it’s like a mash of old fics i will never release

“i dunno hotshot, it’s just so... weird?” spot said, jabbing at him distractedly. 

 

“yahuh, that’s nice spottie. now pay attention or i’m going to knock you to the ground” hotshot threatened dryly, swinging for his face. 

 

“piss off” spot grunted, ducking and punching once again. hotshot was spot’s best friend in high school and once his co-captain in football. now he owned the best boxing/mma gym in all of brooklyn, and occasionally let spot train with him on his off time. 

 

“i just can’t believe kath is paying 3k EACH. i mean i knew she was rich but jesus christ that’s excessive”

 

“hey, a mans gotta do what a mans gotta do” hotshot snorted, landing a punch to his shoulder. 

 

“even if that means pretending to get it with your bestfriend-turned-crush? i mean where does it end?”

 

“august next year”

 

“oh hush” the two traded hits for a few more minutes before calling it a day. both boys were sweaty and smiling, a rare feat for both but they couldn’t help but enjoy each other’s company. 

 

“i’ve gotta shower, race is making me come to another dumb outing. boyfriend duties suck”

 

“whatever you say conlon”

 

xxxxx

 

if there’s one thing race loves more than italy, cool ranch doritos, and baby animals- it would be broadway karaoke night at this tiny basement bar he loved. all of their friends from every corner of nyc crowded in for one night of ridiculous singing and drinking. everyone had fun and most sounded great, race was the king of karaoke. he was usually responsible for instructing people on good songs to sing, nobody knew why but they always agreed that his decision was wise. 

 

there had been many iconic examples of this, kath sang history of wrong guys from kinky boots(accent and all), albert sang sweet transvestite, jack has done me from beauty and the beast at least twice, and their fabulous group rendition of turn it off are some noteworthy examples. all were very theatrical and very, very queer(as were they). 

 

however, there are some things that have been prepared, but then vowed to never preform. but after listening to jack and crutchie brutally murder 16 going on 17, it was time to whip out the big guns. 

 

“romeo, its time”

 

“whAT?!!?? bUt ThE voW?!?!”

 

“fuck the vow, we need to show them whose boss”

 

“UhHhHhMmmM oOoKkAaYyy??”

 

“quit shaking your voice like that, you sound 12”

 

“he looks it too” jojo chimed in, romeo gasping dramatically. 

 

“fuck off you guys, it’s that time jojo. let’s get this bread”

 

“oh god we need to get this on video” jojo shouted as the pair walked towards the stage and snagging the mics from jack and crutchie’s hands. 

 

“thank you for that horrible rendition of a beautiful song, but it’s the pros turn now” race purred into the stolen mic. jack flipped him off before leading crutchie off the stage. 

 

“if you’re anyone in the theatre world, you should know this song, and hope we don’t fuck up” romeo walked over to the live band, whispering something to them before walking back to his mic. race winked at him as the beat picked up. then it clicked with everyone, this was tango: maureen. 

 

romeo opened the song as joanne, a witty smirk following races entrance as mark. to be honest, the pair could’ve done this song in their sleep, even setting up choreography. 

 

there was laughter throughout the whole act, especially during their glorious tango. it took them 6 ballroom classes and roughly a month of rehearsals to time this perfectly to the song. the whole dance was oddly sexual, lots of ‘accidental’ grinding and the occasional ass-grab. it was a whole show, that’s for sure. race wore a wicked smile when romeo dipped him, pecking his cheek for the entertainment of their friends. 

 

by the time the song was over, the pair gave a deep bow, earning them a very loud cheer. specs let out a wolf whistle, shaking his head in false disappointment. romeo waltzed right over and pecked him on the lips before resuming his spot in his lap. 

 

“guh-guh-gaaaaaaayyyyyy” crutchie cried from his seat, hugging race as he walked by. 

 

“i’ll have you know that i am you’re one and only pan friend, so cherish me” romeo said as quickly ran to the bar to grab a tray of shots for them in celebration for presenting the forbidden tango: maureen. this boy was so deep in denial that it was beyond hilarious. 

 

“romeo, i present to you shots. we’re gonna need them after that embarrassment, huh?” race set down the tray on the table before spotting davey at the back of the room, staring at jack. he quickly downed one of the shots before walking over to sit by davey. 

 

“you ok?” he asked, making davey snap out of his temporary daze. 

 

“yea, just a little distracted is all” 

 

“davey babe, i know what you’re thinking. but crutchie and jack aren’t going to happen and you definitely won’t get kicked to the curb, ok?now let’s get some alcohol in you, and get you on that stage. may i suggest a jack and coke after singing shiksa goddess?” davey gave a small smile and nod before heading off to the stage while race walked to the bar. the song was perfect for davey, over the fact of being very jewish and his long list of hetero dates before finally acknowledging his gayness. 

 

xxxxx

 

spot was perfectly content with sitting at the sidelines, watching his friends drink and dance themselves under the tables of the tiny, booked out karaoke bar. he’d been tempted to do a song just to get it over with but instead held his ground next to elmer. 

 

“aren’t ‘cha gonna go take back your boyfriend from romeo?” elmer teased, sniggering as spot instantly stiffened. 

 

“i’ll let him have his fun” spot grumbled and fixed his gaze back on race. the italian seemed to sparkle under the stage lights, his smile growing the more they got into the song. spot stared on, a soft grin settling on his lips before turning back to elmer. 

 

“sure spot” spot just shoved him off, taking a sip of his drink and watching race walk over to davey. it appeared to be another one of his schemes to get dave to not be so anxious about jack and crutchie. after davey had walked off, spot bid elmer goodbye, grabbed 2 beers from the bar and headed over to races side. 

 

“hey stranger”

 

“why hello spottie, ya gonna go up there soon?” 

 

“eh, you know i don’t do karaoke”

 

“lame”

 

“piss off” he shoved race lightly, earning him a giggle. 

 

“i even had a good song for you to do” race whined. 

 

“what is it?”

 

“good kid, from percy jackson?” spot winced, he did like that song a lot. 

 

“i’ll do it” race cheered a bit, “only if you sing kevin again”

 

“you drive a hard bargain” race was known for his andrew rannells covers, but kevin was by far the biggest crowd pleaser. it was dark and funny and gorgeously written, just the kind of song race liked. 

 

“deal?” spot spit into his palm like they did when they were kids. 

 

“that’s gross, but deal” race returned the gesture with a shiver, wiping his now-wet hand on spot’s shoulder. 

 

xxxxx

 

karaoke was exhausting, spot thought as he watched race from across the crowded ihop booth, golden hair glittering with flecks of blue and red from the signs just outside the window. their group of friends had crawled their way to the 24 hour pancake house after a stupid night of running around the city. of course cramming a shitload of hyper idiots in their 20s into a deserted ihop would lead to a whole lot of trouble. the owner, mr. kloppman has been dealing with them wandering in and causing a ruckus for years and was far more forgiving than he should be. as long as they didn’t break anything, make a huge mess, and paid a good tip they were hassle free. 

 

nevertheless, the group had began an annual game of dare, a tradition of late night ihop runs. everyone was deeply invested in the game, finding creative and supportive ways to ruin each others lives. but spot couldn’t help but notice the way the neon lights hit the high points of races face. his cheekbones, nose, and lips were highlighted with vibrant shades of blue and red. oh what he’d give to get his hands on those-

 

“you good babe? you’re staring”

 

“o-oh, sorry. i must’ve spaced out or somethin” he sputtered out, hiding his reddening ears behind his hands. race cocked his head, a soft look of concern ghosting his face before returning his attention to the task at hand. jack was on the chopping block, squeezing the life out of crutchie’s hand while albert decided his dare. 

 

“here’s a good one jackie boy, i dare you to kiss the prettiest person in the room” jack let out a loud groan, smacking his reddening face against the table. 

 

“albert i will never forgive you for this”

 

“yeah yeah, so whose it gonna be, eh kelly?”

 

“me, duh. pucker up cowBO-“ romeo started, getting a glare from specs before rolling his sleeves and looking up to see jacks leaning over the booth, lips locked with dave’s. he kept them there for a few seconds, davey’s eyes slipping closed before jack sprinted out of the booth and to the bathroom. of course the whole table lost their shit, especially david who didn’t have a clue what the hell had just happened. 

 

“i’m gonna go talk to him. be right back” davey said, quaintly standing up and slipping under the table towards the bathroom. there were a few beats of awkward silence before sara spoke up. 

 

“well that was disgusting” she muttered from her spot beside katherine, face nuzzled into her girlfriends neck. 

 

“agreed, that was basically porn starring my best friend and my brother” les added, sending the whole table into gasping laughter. 

 

“leslie connor jacobs, watch your language. but sadly, i have to agree. i need to bleach my eyes after that” spot said, rubbing his temples before looking at albert pointedly. “we are never letting you give dares again”. 

 

there was a collective mutter of agreement before the game continued. romeo was chosen as the new darer in jacks absence, and had chosen elmer as the new victim. 

 

“elmer, dear sweet elmer. i dare you to tell kloppman he has a nice ass”

 

“romeo, you little bastard” elmer choked out, before standing up to complete his dare. 

 

“you’ve gotta admit that was a good one, eh racer?” romeo prodded his arm, earning him a light whack on the head. race was the king of dare, picking ones that would be so risqué that someone would have to take the penalty. the penalty for chickening out was a payment of $20 or an i.o.u to be fulfilled at a later date. race had a lot of people who owed him i.o.u’s, some even owing more than one(albert and jack). 

 

“it was decent, could be a lot worse” 

 

“oh piss off, you ass”

 

“well that was easier than expected” elmer piqued up, sliding back into his seat. “i think it’s racers turn now.”

 

race laughed shallowly, clapping his hands together. “bring it on, glue stick”

 

“okay that nickname died in high school”

 

“so did that haircut”

 

“oh that’s it, i dare you to go check in on davey and jack” elmer grinned wickedly, watching the horror flash across races face. he’d had his fair share of walking in on people but this was just plain mean. nevertheless, race stood up and made his way to the bathroom. 

 

he couldn’t hear anything through the door, which could either be a blessing or a goddamn nightmare. so he pushed the door open slowly and peaked around the corner only to be met with the single most terrifying sight known to man. there stood jack and david, once again attached at the mouth, but far worse. davey was sitting on the counter while jack stood between his legs, crossing his ankles behind jacks back. jacks hands were roaming, one settled on davey’s lower back while both of his were threaded in jacks hair. 

 

after a moment of initial shock, race let out the most undignified screech ever and sprinted out the door, back to the table. jack and davey soon followed, disheveled and stark red. race slipped under the booth before the pair could notice where he went, crawling right next to spot’s legs. he tried not to notice, to pay attention to his brothers ridiculous shouting about invasions of privacy and where race was so he could kill him. instead all he could feel was a warm torso shaking with laughter and the quiet buzz of his phone in his pocket. 

 

italian dipshit:   
i’m gon just chill here for a bit  
oke?

 

spot:   
aight cool  
i’ll tap you when they’re gone

 

italian dipshit:  
cute B)

 

spot:  
:)

 

albert peaked over spot’s shoulder, looking at the texts and nodding. spot slipped his phone back into his pocket before turning back up with a smile. of course jack was still ranting on an on, now sitting down and flailing his hands dramatically. he chuckled, pressing a hand to his chest to hopefully control his breathing. 

 

but his laugh was quickly cut short when he felt a soft weight on his right knee, race resting his head against it and once again shaking with laughter. this wasn’t a new occurrence, but for some reason spot was struggling to keep his cool, his ears going redder by the minute. luckily, jack was throwing too large of a scene for anyone to pay attention to him. he rested his hands on his thighs, races curls brushing against his knuckles. 

 

spot subconsciously wrapped his fingers around a few stray curls. race remained unbothered, still listening to the conversation above. katherine and crutchie has gotten involved at this point, aiming to cool jack off while elmer comforted a mortified david. so spot hovered his hand over races head before gently resting it in his hair. his shoulders tensed, making spot freeze in fear before relaxing. it almost felt as if race was leaning into the touch, then there was another buzz in his pocket. 

 

italian dipshit:   
are you petting me?

 

spot:  
uh  
yes?  
sorry if that’s weird 

 

italian dipshit:   
it’s chill  
i’m just usually the one to ask

 

spot felt a little braver after that, combing his fingers through races mess of curls. he leaned back until his back was against the booth seats and his head was resting on spot’s thigh. race tilted his head, subtly guiding his hand down his scalp. spot obliged, scratching at the hair behind races ear. race was like a damn cat, curling into his touch like-

 

“racer? you do know they’re gone, right?” finch said, snapping spot out of his daze and quickly placed his hands back on the table. race slowly snaked his way back into his seat, unfazed by whatever the hell had just happened. 

 

“whose up?” he said with a grin.

 

“finchy, kath is thinking up a dare”

 

“and i think i’ve just figured mine out”

 

“is that so, kitty kath?” finch teased, only to be met with katherine’s evil smile. 

 

“i dare you, to sit on alberts lap for the rest of the game”

 

“wh-what! i did not agree to thi-“ crutchie complained, only to be cut off by finch setting himself on his lap. his face was almost redder than his hair at this point but finch appeared to be completely shameless, a challenging look on his face. 

 

“easy peasy, racer you’re up again!” race perked up, turning his attention to finch. 

 

“this’d better be a good one, finchy”

 

“i dare you to go make me pancakes” the whole table burst into laughter, spot rolling his eyes at race while he stood up and made his way through the staff doors. 

 

“that’s gonna take a bit, what do we do now?” specs said, trying to shove romeo off his shoulder. 

 

“no clue, does anyone have anything they’d like to confess??”

 

the group sat in awkward silence, nobody saying anything until sara bolted upright. “i have the tea sisters”. 

 

spot stared at her, suddenly struck with fear. “oh no, you don’t get to share that. i’d rather die sara don’t you dare”

 

“ohhhh sweetie i dare, spot has it bad” she said with a smile. 

 

“you’re dead, i’m going to kill you” spot reached across the booth, grabbing at sara. luckily albert stopped him, but he still glared angrily at sara. 

 

“so spotty, have you done it yet?” romeo teased, “just make out sesh’s?”

 

spot instantly froze, his ears burning. sara’s grin grew wider, while the rest of the group stared on in shock. this was the end for him, he might as well pitch himself off a cliff at this point. one of them would end up telling race when he got back and he’d have to see the pity on everyone’s faces as he got turned down flat. he couldn’t deal with that kind of thing. 

 

“spot, you good?” specs asked in surprise. 

 

“stop antagonizing him” race appeared, a stack of pancakes in hand. he quickly set them in front of finch and sat down next to romeo. “what’d they ask you?”

 

“i’m not telling you” race pouted, giving spot his best puppy eyes. spot covered his face with his hands, making every attempt to disappear. 

 

“fine, i dare you to tell me what they asked you”

 

the whole table gasped, that was a bold move. using dares to get answers out of people had never ended well for either participants. someone’s feelings could’ve ended up hurt, the person could always lie their way out, or someone ended up down $20. 

 

“i’ll just pay you off because i am not going to tell you”

 

“tsk tsk, i’ll take the i.o.u instead” spot groaned, but was relieved to be spared from death. i.o.u’s were scary but it could’ve been far worse. now it was time for payback. 

 

“hey sara, i dare you to tell everyone about ‘the phone call’ we had back in january”

 

“sean patrick conlon you dick”

 

“hey you started it, i’m simply returning the favor”

 

xxxxx

 

after another hour of goofing off, everyone started to head home, this left only spot and race at the table. race was laying in the booth across from him while spot sipped his cold coffee. 

 

“i think it’s safe to say that was a success”

 

“yep” spot popped his ‘p’ loudly, taking another sip. there was another pregnant pause before race sat up quickly. 

 

“i really wanna dance right now”

 

spot was fairly confused by races sudden statement, “well then do it ya dork”. 

 

“no no, like slow dance”

 

“uh okay?? have fun” spot murmured before getting dragged onto his feet and out the door. it was dark and misty and very rainy, you couldn’t see the moon or stars at all. “racer what the hell are weE-“

 

race quickly grabbed spot’s hands, placing one in his and the other on his own hip, his free hand in spot’s shoulder. “now sway with me”

 

“but there’s no music, what the fuck are you doing?!?”

 

“shh” race pulled his phone from his pocket, flipping through a random playlist before selecting “dancing in the moonlight” by king harvest. how ironic. 

 

spot stayed rather stiff, shifting his weight to and fro, following the song. race was standing face up to the rain, a dopey grin on his face. they looked like utter idiots, slow dancing in an ihop parking lot at 3am, but they didn’t care. or at least race didn’t. spot was doing everything in his power to rationalize these events, trying to not let his brain turn to the puddle of mush it’s doomed to be. 

 

“chill out spottie, it’s just a dance”

 

“sure” spot rolled his eyes before relaxing a bit, allowing race to move them in a slow circle. there was something surreal about this all, just him, race, and the rain(and the raccoon they found behind the restaurant once). his clothes and body were soaked, held tight agains race. his cheek was pressed onto races wet shoulder, sending shivers down his spine. 

 

maybe they’d be alright, just maybe. 

 

just as long as race never knew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lil rundown time
> 
> -javey hasn’t actually happened yet, sorry i switched that up!!
> 
> -jackcrutchie won’t be happening 
> 
> -spot and hotshot be bffs, spot told him all the tea


	7. look at my... not? pants?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> spot is too gay for this
> 
> race gets taller
> 
> and kath is a sneaky bitch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the late chapter i’ve got some horrible writers block

jojo was standing in the center of the ring of dancers nervously tapping his foot. race was late, again. they were supposed to be teaching an intensive downtown for jacks mom, retired preformer and dancer extraordinaire ms. medda larkin, who ran a “small” dance company. after another 5 minutes of waiting impatiently, jojo opened his mouth to begin addressing the group when- BANG! in ran a disheveled race, snapback falling off his head, his dance bag strapped to his front. 

 

“hey jo!! sorry i’m late, bus, coffee, forgot bag, ya know?” he huffed out, throwing his stuff to the ground, kicking off his slides and joining jojo in the center of the room. “hello everyone, welcome to the bowery’s october intensive”

 

there was a roar of cheers before the pair resumed talking. “i’m jojo de la guerra, this is my friend racetrack higgins”

 

“no, racetrack is not my real name. and also no, i won’t be telling you my real name” race added. 

 

“so we’re gonna break for warm up, maybe 10 mins and then we’ll move right into the routine, let’s go!” jojo smiled at race while the ring dispersed before whacking him upside the head. 

 

“you’re late, asshat” he teased. 

 

“like i said, sorry” race sat on the ground, beginning his long warm up routine. various stretches and splits, followed by running an old routine he learned a while back. they were just about to begin when jojos phone started to blow up. 

 

“racer, i’ve gotta step out for a sec. can you start teaching the routine??” race rolled his eyes but gave a curt nod, jojo walking out to answer the calls. 

 

“real smooth entrance racer” albert mocked, lightly kicking his knee. “excited to be teaching again?”

 

“fuck yeah man, nice to know medda still thinks i’m okay enough to teach after last time” the last time race was teaching, he may or may not have showed up hungover and then got dropped on his head during a lift. 4 stitches and a slight concussion later, he was back at it. 

 

“yahuh, how’s spottie doin?” 

 

“well he’s spot, small and a bit irritated. how’s elmer?”

 

“he’s good, still busy with school and stuff” ah yes, elmer was working towards his masters in astrophysics, compared to most of their friends’ bachelor degrees. albert was very proud. 

 

“sounds fun and horrible”

 

“it is, i once saw him drink a whole case of redbull in 3 days”

 

“i drank a whole case in 3 hours during college ya idiot, you’ve seen worse”

 

“yeah but you’re a chronic dumbass so i expected it of you. elmer’s different” he looked so in love it was disgusting, he should try that with spot later. 

 

race switched to his center splits, rolling both ankles as he slid to the floor. “whatever you say, albie”

 

“by the way, what the fuck are you wearing?”

 

“oh these are my...” race stands up to hold his leg up in an extension, “not? pants?”

 

“nah the shorts are fine, but your shoes? those are at least 6 inches high!!” al pointed to races thigh-high boots, his favorite for dance. they were kind of inconvenient for anything other than dance, but still cute. 

 

“they’re 5, get over yourself”

 

jojo walked back in, looking fairly exasperated. he ran his head through his hair a few times before turning to the pair. “racer i am so so so sorry but my roommate just set our kitchen on fire so i’ve gotta go take care of that”

 

“it’s no biggie man, i can take it from here”

 

“you sure?” jojo was clearly skeptical of races teaching abilities, giving albert a quirked eyebrow. 

 

“if the man says he’s fine, he’ll be fine! now go save your kitchen” romeo pranced over to give his two cents as always. jojo sighed loudly before jogging out the door.

 

“alrighty kiddos, let’s get this show on the road!!”

 

xxxxx

 

“i swear to fucking god i’m gonna kill him” spot muttered angrily, running up the stairs to medda’s studio. he fucking called it, race was going to forget(he always did). he’d even  
grabbed a nice outfit in case he didn’t have anything nice to change into, being the considerate boyf-

 

not a good time to get mushy gushy spottie, he had to go stab a bitch. he arrived at the studio, swinging open the door forcefully. “ANTONIO GIOVANNI HIGGINGS I SWEAR IF YOU FORGOooh shoot um- am i um- am i interrupting?”

 

there sat(laid? knelt?) what could be the most evilly gorgeous thing, race knelt on the floor in a rather provoking position, facing the mirror, in probably the shortest shorts he’d ever seen on a non-stripper, a cropped hoodie, and heels. that’s right. heels. spot didn’t even know race owned heels but goddamn it was attractive spot was pretty sure he was blushing, hard. so hard he could basically feel his heartbeat in his cheeks and sweat prickling at his temples. 

 

“babe, what’s wrong” race crawled off the floor towards him, leaning down to hold his cheek worriedly. yes. bending down, to touch spot’s face. he had to have at least 5 more inches on spot to add to the already 8 he had on him. 

 

spot took a deep breath before responding, “did you forget about dinner?”. 

 

“what dinner? wait... FUCK OHHHHHH SHOOT I CANT BELIEVE WE FORGOT!!! UH... ALBIE YOURE IN CHARGE OF GETTING THE LAST COUPLE OF RECORDINGS IVE GOTTA GO!!”

 

“WHHH WHERE ARE YOU GOING?” albert called back frantically. 

 

“KATH. SAR BEAR. DATE. DINNER.”

 

and with that, he and spot sprinted straight for the stairs. well, spot sprinted and race sort of hobbled there, going as fast as possible in heels. 

 

“oh my god race hurry!!!”

 

“i. cant.” he hissed through gritted teeth, carefully trying to maneuver down the stairs backwards. 

 

“oh dear god, fuck this” spot walked back up to race, instantly scooping him up and carrying him down the rest of the stairs bridal style. he was surprisingly cool with it, compared to the other times he’s had to carry race when he was either drunk, sick, or both. he even grinned a bit, hooking his arms behind spot’s neck. 

 

he felt like the main guy in every cliche romance every, carrying the girl(or gay in heels) to some place or whatever(spot doesn’t watch rom-coma much). after awkwardly pushing the door open with his shoulder, they had made it to the car. “okie dokie, thanks for the lift spottie”

 

“yeah... no problemo. clothes are in the back, get dressed”

 

“coolio”

 

xxxxx

 

“hey you guys!! over here!” sara called, grinning and waving a hand wildly, the other entangled with katherine’s. the two boys skipped over, greeting the girls with hugs before sitting down. 

 

“how are you ladies? you look great” race remarked, passing spot the drink menu he so wanted. they were at a brewery downtown, sara heard about it from one of the girls of her softball team and just “had” to try it out. it was clearly a ploy to tease spot, as was her entire existence. but anyways, they were supposed to have really good craft beers here so spot was a teeny bit excited.

“ooo sar look at this one!” spot passed her the menu, pointing out various drinks. race and katherine laughed softly at their dates, for they were more of the fine wine or hard liquor types. it comes with having a family with very expensive taste/ being fucking rich as hell. 

 

“you just wanna get a bottle?” race asked.

 

“red or white?” 

 

“red, duh” kath snickered a bit, peeking over sara’s shoulder and picking the first type she sees. 

 

“it’s a chardonnay, is that good with you?”

 

“perfect”

 

the group chatted over random topics, kath’s new job, spots hilarious coming out story, and so much more. it wasn’t until they got onto the topic of race and spot’s relationship that things got dicey. they had somewhat fabricated a story, but now they had to  
make it sound convincing. 

 

“so how’d this even happen? i know you sorta already explained but i’m still lost” kath asked, looking at them with false expectancy. jerk. 

 

“well after i’d ended it with oscar, spottie was really there for me, and i guess something kinda just blossomed from there. it was at jojos st patrick’s day party that we both fessed up” race joked, feigning the look of absolute love that albert had earlier. most of that story was real, all accept the blossoming and fessing up. there was nothing TO fess up anyways. 

 

anyways, sara looked quite convinced which was good. but kath, oh sweet kath, had other plans. “cute! but okay, how come we never see you guys kiss? you’re so touchy usually but i’ve never seen you actually kiss” 

 

race visibly gulped, looking to spot for a save. “uh- we just didn’t wanna make anybody uncomfortable. yeah!”

 

“well me and sara are fine with it so please, feel free”

 

“awh thanks kath but we’re okay”

 

“no no, i insist” she was really laying it on thick. 

 

“yeah cmon you two, you can’t be as bad as finch and crutch now can you?” sara did have a point, crutchie and finch were gross together, always touching somehow. “just give us a lil smooch”

 

race looked hesitantly to a rather mortified spot, before giving the girls a smile and pecking him on the corner of his mouth. spot tried his best to not look shaken up, there was only so much romantic frustration a man can take in one day. 

 

“boo! give us a real kiss you idiots” kath jeered, getting a nod from sara. race gave a long, frustrated whine before once again turning to spot expectantly. they’d be chatting about this later. 

 

“oh fuck it” spot muttered, grabbing the back of races neck and pressing their lips together for a rather chaste kiss. it was just enough to get the girls whooping before spot pulled away and took a long sip of his beer. race shook off the initial shock before turning to kath. 

 

“happy?”

 

“very”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feel free to ask questions about the plot and keep requesting those titles!!! love you all and have a great week


	8. another a/n

hey guys gals and everyone who wishes not to define themselves or whatever pronouns you use,

 

well if you didn’t already know, hi i’m grass, and i’m the writer of this semi decent fic

 

i know you guys are expecting a new chapter right about now but i’ve been having a lot of trouble getting inspired for new chapters

 

i’ve been overworking myself to get these out for you lovely people and it’s been becoming a bit much for  
me so i’m sorry to say this but, i’m taking a bit of a break

 

not long i promise, but posting will become a lot more irratic and i won’t be posting this week or most of next so i can get my shit together and get back to enjoying writing this fic

 

i’ve got some other oneshots that i’m working on so you guys won’t end up completely bored out of your minds without me(jk jk) 

okie dokie sorry to do this guys but i love all you readers so so much and thank you for all your positive feedback it really makes my day and it’s people like you who make me want to keep writing instead of abandoning this fic all together 

 

hugs and kisses, 

 

grass<3


	9. another a/n (apology)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a quick a/n

hey guys

 

it’s grass 

 

i just wanted to apologize for my inactivity, i’ve been struggling to get ideas and motivation to continue this fic

 

however, i’m going to hate myself forever if i don’t finish this up so i’ve got 2 extra long, extra crazy chapters coming out and this fic should be wrapped up by some time in june!

 

thank you guys so much for understanding, i promise to get something out within the next week or so

 

love, 

 

grass


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